Best Spam Subject Line Ever

- Jess and I celebrated four whole years together this weekend! We enjoyed a nice meal at one of our favorite restaurants and are already planning how best to spend our fifth anniversary together. We rock!

- I defy anyone to get through this entire video without trying to bludgeon themselves into sweet oblivion with the closest blunt instrument. And no cheating by turning down the volume, either!:



Holy shit, it's like someone got her REALLY loaded and convinced her that it would be totally awesome to do a bad Nico impression while covering Tom Waits songs. I never thought she was all that hot before, but Scarlett Johansson is now a permanent Boner-Killer.

"Two bits"? More like $16 with tip...

I tend to go a long-ass time between shaving and getting my hair cut. This is partially out of laziness, and partially because I like to pretend that I look awesome with a beard, like Zach Galifianakis. Jess had been subjecting me to some good-natured teasing about my "college hair" over the last week or two, so I finally busted out the razor this morning and then walked to the hair salon across the street to get my locks shorn.


I will say that I always feel rejuvenated after I finally get around to doing this. It's sort of like when you get really sick for a few days--the kind of sick where you don't even have the energy to bathe and you just kind of lay around in your own filth--and then you finally regain enough strength to chisel off your pajamas and take a nice hot shower to wash away the germs, and then you put on some actual clothes and go outside; it's like you're a whole new person!